Now that she knew how I felt about her ass it was almost always at the forefront of my mind.To make things worse, I think mom was deliberately teasing me. She seemed to wear more clothes to show it off AT HOME. She used to only wear these clothes out of the house. She was also bending over a lot in front of me, sometimes it seemed for no reason. It was unending torture. I hoped beyond hope she’d say yes. Her saying no after all this teasing would have just been cruel. Still, I began to take all her new teasing as a sign she was warming up to the idea, maybe even willing to say yes. One week before my birthday, she finally gave me her answer.We were eating dinner again, and in the middle of the meal, no segue or anything, she piped up about it. “Andy, I have finally come to a decision as far as what you asked me for your birthday.” I stopped eating right there. My heart beat fast wondering what her answer would be. “It was a very difficult choice for me. What you asked for was not. In a way, we all sit in our own wheelchairs. Most of us find a way to keep going forward no matter how difficult it seems to be, or how difficult others may see it as we struggle on through life. And for some, it’s far harder than that, for some like this man, we do it with one arm, we keep going even though we sometimes lose the comfort of our own hats, and have to stop, retrieve that comfort, that security and find a way to keep going. Maybe he would have appreciated the gesture, my stopping jumping out to help. But I also wondered, how many who sat behind me in their cars would have honked impatiently as I did so. How many others sat there as I did wondering at his determination, or stupidity? Would he have appreciated someone giving him a hand, walking behind, pushing him instead of his doing it himself? Or would he have found annoyance in that? I think that all of us at times appreciate a little push, a little help once in a while. But sometimes, we need to push ourselves, even.
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